Juggling motherhood and dream chasing is never an easy task.

It’s trying to find balance in our every day. One thing I’ve had to accept is that we can’t have it all – something will always have to go. And a mother’s greatest joy is to find people whom we love and trust to be an extension of our hands, feet, and (at times) heart as we try our best to do everything we need to. This is an example of a tightrope moment I went through as we welcomed 2019.

My heart was aching. My dear father-in-law and my beloved grandma passed away one month apart from each other.

My husband was in Australia with his grieving family. My kids and I were in Indonesia to pay my last respects to my darling grandmother.

I ‘met’ a new friend Alex @lxemoments a few months prior when he enquired about my work for his dear client. I was inspired by his kindness and his vision and we spoke about creating something beautiful together. But the shoot date was going to be my daughter’s 1st birthday. I told myself that working with Alex would be a breath of fresh air to my mourning heart.

Albeit late, we would celebrate Sky’s first birthday milestone when our family will be complete, a week later. Despite my reasonings though, I still felt like a terrible mother when I booked that overnight flight. I was so grateful that my children adored my sister and my mom and I knew they would be okay. I consoled myself that I would be back in a blink of an eye.

It was only a short few hours, but we were so excited to meet each other, and I was introduced to Alex’s friend, Inez. I prayed in my heart, wondering how to photograph her, and the small, gentle voice within said, “Create ‘a true portrait’ of Inez.” Then Alex told me about Inez’s best friend – little Joelie – her puppy dog, her love for Dior, her fascination of flowers and olive trees. As we pulled these elements together, I eventually discovered her playful and very beautiful, soulful heart.

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This unexpected friendship with Inez and Alex turned out to be absolutely one of the most precious things 2019 gifted me. Thank you both for being such a light to my journey!

I watched with pride as I saw Inez walk down the aisle last month and Alex truly made her look like royalty!!! Wishing you the happiest ever after, Inez and James!

Since this meeting, Alex and I have crossed paths so many more times over 2019 and in 2020. I am so grateful for this tightrope moment. I had to let go of being there on the day Sky turned 1. But on the 3rd of January, my husband arrived in my hometown, our family reunited and my parents were over the moon to host Sky’s first birthday party! Everything worked out with sweet ending, and this little mommy heart breathed a sigh of relief.

It’s not about perfection after all. It’s about doing the best that we can. When we let go of trying to do everything and be everything, we can truly live from the heart. It’s when we are living with our hearts wide open that we are gifted some of the most beautiful moments, memories…and friendships.

Fashion Styling Alexander Gotama from LXE events / Dresses Dior